Vulnerability in Relating

Relating requires curiosity and vulnerability. Particularly in intimate romantic ones.

To love inherently means to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is the driving force of connection. It's brave. It's tender. It's impossible to connect without it. To be open, raw & receptive without defences.

We've made ourselves 'strong'. We've toughened up, hardened up and protected ourselves from being hurt.

We've protected ourselves from vulnerability and disallowed the surrender. Here's the problem. When we close down our vulnerability, we are shielded from hurt, but we are also shielded from love, intimacy and connection.

They come to us through the same door. When we close it to one, we close it to all.

Relating romantically requires releasing expectations and asks us to step into both teacher and learner roles.
It requires us to show up vulnerably, knowing that we might get hurt or find deep intimacy, connection and love. Intimacy, connection and being seen in all our facets can also be both terrifying and liberating.

We must be able to take accountability for our patterns and triggers and soften into our humanness and flaws with each other. To be each others' mirror and see the reflection in it.

Daring to connect.

There was a study that showed there's only one variable that separates those who feel a deep sense of love and belonging and those who struggle for it – : Those who feel loveable, who love and who experience belonging simply believe they are worthy of love and belonging, in the midst of all of these struggles, they have developed practices that enable them to hold on to the belief that they are worthy of love, belonging and even joy.

To live with wholeheartedness is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. The main concern of wholehearted men and women is living a life defined by courage, compassion, and connection.

Our only 'choice' is a question of engagement. Our willingness to own & engage with vulnerability determines the depth of our courage, the clarity of our purpose and our ability to love to love and show up to each other and ourselves.